COLLECTOR GROUP POST, July 16/98
PORTABLE RADIOS; PART IV,
Conclusion By Dennis Starks
SBC Sideband Adapter?
GE Model 250 Radio?
MORE WEB SITES;
From Sean T. Kelly
HEAD AVAIL. SWAP FOR OTHER A/C SHIT;
NEW MEMBER; Buzz
PORTABLE RADIOS; PART IV,
Conclusion By Dennis Starks
realize that the author's intent in the first parts of this series
was to give
a casual account of the development of selected portable radios
WW-II and progressing to the present. However things being as they
are, and me
being the ass hole I am, I just couldn't leave it at that. I felt
things should be covered in more detail, and a couple half-truths
is my sincere hope that further, more detail discussion may be the
publishing this material. Comments from everybody, regardless of
most emphatically sought.
In The Beginning,
The SCR-511 was not developed before the
SCR-536, in fact, the SCR-536 was undergoing field trials before
As has been covered in great detail via this forum, the two radios
designed with two completely different intended purposes, it was
joined them as companions in the field. And the Navy had fielded
MAB) before the advent of either.
Surely, it can be shown that the Navy has
traditionally been far in advance of Army development all
communications history. Some examples, the Navy had in hand by
ART-13(ATC), TCS, TBY, TBX, TBW, MU and the famous Command
Sets to name just a few. All far and
away more advanced than their Signal Corps counterparts BC-375,
BC-654, BC-191, BC-611, BC-229/230. It would not be until near
wars end that
the Signal Corps would catch up to the Navy and in some cases
equipment. Similar examples can be shown to the present day.
Perhaps a future
series of articles entitled "Army Versus Navy" might be in order.
These facts however have been
history, and overshadowed by Army variants for several reasons.
First is the
secretive nature of the Navy which prevented the commercial
enjoyed by the Army and it's equipment. Second is shear numbers,
Marine Corps had by mid WW-II a large selection of excellent
choose from, their operational proximity to Army units by this
by with the greater numbers of Army units and a difference in
doctrines mandated that they(the Marine Corps) adopt and use those
of Signal Corps equipment most often
needed to both enhance compatibility, and simplify the horrendous
associated with the support of such contingents in the field.
Third was the
support by manufactures at home. Manufacturing facilities at home
stretched to near limits. Every item needed to support the war
effort had to
compete for these facilities. The extent of this competition is
to convey, but suffice to say it created extreme tension between
It should also be noted that Army Signal
Corps, and Air force development were one in the same thing until
the split of
the Air force with the Army well after WW-II. Until then the only
or procurement effected by the "Army Air Corps" on it's own and
without Signal Corps consent or collaboration was met with later
case in point was the Air Corps Jefferson Travis field radio sets
ordered out of defiance without Signal Corps consent. The
Jefferson Travis was
much like a larger, more powerful SCR-284(BC-654). Later during
African Campaign, the Air Corps complained to the Signal Corps
extreme weight of the radio set, and their difficulties in
and maintenance items. The Signal Corps replied in effect, this
isn't one of
our radio's, we did not order, nor approve them, therefore the
channels do no exist in our system, I/E you shit your own nest now
lay in it!
The Jefferson Travis was then replaced in the field with Signal
which had been designed for that same purpose rather than further
clog up the
logistic channels trying to support it. The same story can be
several other examples.
The Air force lead in the development and
use of an FAC radios can be debated in depth. Considering the
developmental practices outlined above, the first true FAC radio
was the TRC-7
of mid WW-II vintage, developed for Military intelligence, and
troops(not the Air Corps) as both a liaison radio for air support,
and later as
a means of fighter control for extreme forward area ground troops.
indeed a backpack radio operating from the same battery as a
provided with a very large array of accessaries that allowed it's
use as a
simi-fixed station, even a hand crank generator was available.
There is also
evidence to show that the CRC-7 (the first hand -held VHF AM
downed airman's radio)
had been used as an expedient by Airborne troops even before the
advent of the
TRC-7(more on the CRC-7 later).
The mid-late 50's saw a re-emergence of
TRC-7 in the hands of the Air force. This as a result of the
our move to UHF AM for tactical air communications had left the
rest of the
world behind, thus American FAC teams had no means of
allied aircraft. This condition persisted until the end of US
Vietnam, and a steady succession of radios were either developed
Off-The-Shelf and used as expedients to relieve some of the
Long before the Army/Air force's fumbling
along with the TRC-7, and PRC-14(late 50's). The Navy had realized
a need and
solved it by late WW-II. This with the MAY(UHF AM) and the MAW(VHF
these radios were basically backpack types that could also be set
simi-fixed operation with an elevated antenna. Though grossly
would still be in the hands of Marine FAC/Pathfinder units until
the late 60's.
In the same light, the development of the PRC-41, and PRC-47 can
closely credited to the Marine Corps who was by far the largest
rather than the Army or Air force.
should be noted that FAC operations have the peculiar need to be
operate on all bands, I/E HF/AM(later SSB), VHF/FM, VHF/AM, and
led to the Air force's development of the PRC-71, 72, 83 etc. None
in very significant quantity. The Army, and Navy on the other hand
chose to stick
with an assemblage of the more common tactical sets PRC-25/77, 74,
and 41. In addition, history will show that virtually all the
originally developed as Downed Airman's, or survival radios, also
duty in use as a front line means of fighter control often in the
hands of Special Forces Teams, and other Irregular
Forces. These include the URC-4, 11, 10, 10A, PRC-63, 90,
ACR-RT-10 and a long
list of others.
It is true that very little is known of
Pre-SSB days of the front line foot FAC units. We do know that the
used in this capacity while vehicular, and was most probably
close-in use. The possiblity also exist that the GRC-13 might have
been used in
this same role, and if so, might account for it's extreme rarity
the Marine Corps did have access to GRC-9's their TBX series
service at least until the end of the Korean War, and evendence
place it in use even later. It is very doughtfull that either the
the PRC-64 ever saw service in use by FAC units. This because the
for both of these radio sets was CW, and voice communications were
spontaneous aircraft tactical coordination. Also the history of
GRC-109/RS-1 in military hands has been well documented via this
precludes any such usage.
Another contributing factor in the
development of FAC equipment is that Air force FAC units, unlike
Army FAC's and
Marine Pathfinders seldom advanced into the extreme forward areas
require the use of backpack equipment. Thus most of the equipment
used by them
were vehicular in nature. Beginning in WW-II a tradition of
aircraft radio equipment into ground vehicles started with the
SCR-522 being installed
in tanks as the SCR-524. This practice mushroomed after WW-II with
24vdc(compatible with 28vdc aircraft) becoming our military's
voltage, and still lives on today, the variations of equipment
used would fill
several volumes, and include HF, VHF, and UHF examples of every
It is true that there was a long drawn
research effort that resulted in the Marine Corps PRC-68. But this
by an even longer effort to develop the PRT-4/PRR-9,
beginning in 1950 and ending in 1964. This
effort produced the experimental PRC-15, 30, 34, 35, & 36.
While it is true
the PRT-4/PRR-9 saw little actual
service in the field, it remained the only official squad radio of
at least 1977, when only experimental versions of the PRC-68 were
The PRT-4/PRR-9 combination remains
extremely significant to history for several reasons. First and
the technology they represented including the first in an all
solid state radio
set, and second the use of a 10.7mc IF frequency which is now
lastly the first use of an Integrated circuit(IC), this is the
generator on "A" models. The story told in the development of
radios is an un-equaled example of Government Bull Shit, and
The PRC-68 was the direct result of the
adoption of the PRT-4/PRR-9 and not
because of any obvious reasoning. But out of the disgust felt by
Corps having been totally ignored during the entire developmental
though this was a joint services project. Their grievance was not
basic design of the radio set, or it's performance, rather it was
radio packaging and limited channel capacity. I/E the Marine Corps
had all along
pressed for a channel capacity of at least four, and a radio
housed in a single
cabinet. Had their wishes been headed during the Development of
PRT-4/PRR-9, we might not ever have received the PRC-68's, or at
until a much later date.
In the interum years between the
PRT-4/PRR-9 and the PRC-68, another long list of radios were
developed, and or
purchased as emergency expediants in very limited quantities. Some
of the later
include some international joint development units such as the
PRC-601, and 602
a joint Isreali/US, Tadiran/GTE venture. At least four solid state
the PRC-6 are also known to have been purchased by the US
government, two types
of German origin, and two of US.
While their was a succession of survival
type radios used before during and after WW-II, the first such
radio adopted as
a Standard Item was the legendary Gibson Girl of WW-II fame. A
direct copy of a
German set that had been captured in the North Sea by the British,
remanded by them to the US for development and production. It
service aboard large aircraft and all sea going vessels with very
until the late 80's and the demise of the 500kc marine distress
with the negating of Mores Code proficiency of licensed marine
Second to emerge was the CRC-7. While it
true that the radio was used in life raft during the war. It's
to fame was it's use aboard fighter aircraft where the available
space for such
equipment was at a premium (the CRC-7 was a transceiver shaped
like a large
cigar tube, approx 2" in diameter, & 14" long). In postwar
it would receive expanded use in light bombers, and with
The Army/Air force/URC-4 use combined
the Navy/PRC-17 use can be debated to some extent as numerous
examples of the
URC-4 survive to show Navy use. In addition, most surviving
examples of the
PRC-17 show use by commercial airlines. Further, the
URC-11/Army/Air force, and
PRC-32/Navy associations can also be debated. It would appear that
purchase of the PRC-32 was a simple expedient to augment supplies
URC-11's at a time when technology was awaiting the advent of an
state radio. I/E, a limbo period existed between the URC-11(all
tubes) and the
first solid state SAR radio. During this period a long list of
were purchased, tested, or used. Some of these were even
Off-the-Shelf types including many ACR built variants. It should
be noted that
all these early SAR radios(except the CRC-7), even the first and
generation ACR types, used and external, metal incased, battery
connected to the radio via an umbilical cable, making for a very
The first solid state SAR radio was not
ACR-RT-10, or the URC-10(both being the same radio). The first
model RT-10 was
in fact a tube type radio and used a separate battery just as
The second version "A" model, though physically identical to it's
older brother was indeed all solid state. It was adopted by all US
with various markings including ACR-RT-10A, URC-10A, and PRC-93.
to it's high production cost it did not fair well in military
The Army's URC-68 was never intended as a
one size fits all SAR radio. It was expressly intended for use by
flight crews and with their close operational proximity to ground
lowband VHF/FM band was included. At one time it was briefly
considered by the
Army Rangers as a "Stop Gap" radio to fill the void they felt for
lack of a suitable squad radio. It was however quickly dismissed
as too fragile
for this type use.
The Navy PRC-63, though it did enjoy some
popularity and use, was a hermetically sealed Throw-Away radio.
completely from synthetics it was very light weight, compact, and
the first time in large scale, used a "Rubber Duckie" type
But it's synthetic materials rendered it fragile, and it's being
seal prevented any attempt at servicing. It gave way in short
order to the
The Navy's improved PRC-90-2. The only
difference between the PRC-90's used by the Navy/Marine Corps, and
those in use
by the Army/Air Force was in the process used to manufacture their
Both radio variants were built in the same factories at the same
time, on the
same production lines. the deference is in the type aluminum used
cabinets on each variant. Those used by the Army/Air Force have an
cabinet that began life as an investment casting. On the other
Navy/Marine Corps cabinets are completely milled from a solid
aluminum. the end result of the Navy/Marine manufacturing process
was a radio
that would survive being submerged in water to a greater depth.
Even by the late 50's-early 60's, the
military had not completely weaned itself from some dependance on
VHF(Civil) aircraft band. The URC-14 is identical in every respect
to a URC-11
except for one, it operates on 121.5 vice 243mc. This can be seen
the current PRC-106, a radio which is physically identical to the
except that this one is dual band and operates on both 121.5, and
anyone ever noticed the harmonic relationship between all the
frequencies? We have 40.5mc FM used in helicopters, times three
for the civil aircraft band, time two equals 243mc military guard.
The BC-222/322(SCR-194/195) along with
TBY were indeed Backpack radios, and as such designed to be
operable while in
motion on the operator's back(though admittedly a very precarious
these particular radios). Followed by the SCR-300(BC-1000) which
would set the
stage for ALL front line tactical radios to follow, even to this
The PRC-8, 9, 10, not only offered much
greater frequency coverage with less signal bandwidth, and a
smaller size and
weight. But also introduced the first examples of modular design
military radio. This greatly simplifying field service and
provided some measure if interchangeability between radio parts
accessories. The Canadians, Dutch, and Australians would
ingeniously expand on
this system in their same generation of equipment to include their
the CPRC-26. Which used common components, and accessories with
not only their
own versions of the PRC-8, 9, & 10, but also US radios. The US
follow their own lead with our PRC-6 which included none of this
interchangeability. Another "First" for the PRC-10 family of
and possibly most significant, was their Steel Tape antenna that
an international standard to this day.
The PRC-25 is the single most significant
contribution to military tactical communication of it's type since
of the SCR-300(BC-1000). It and it's immediate successor the
become the most proliferate radio in military history spanning
almost 30 years,
40 countries, and countless manufactures foreign and domestic. It
the standard for comparison long after it's obsolescence, and
still remains in
widespread use today. Besides being the first solid state FM
backpack radio, it
also introduced the now standard 150cps tone squelch system which
"Grunt Proofed" it not only simplifying operation by untrained
personnel but also reducing front panel controls to a minimum.
The PRC-119 is by ALL accounts,
those taxed with it's operation, a horribly over complicated, and
radio set. I personally cannot perceive it's longevity as a
replacement for the
PRC-77 excepted in higher echelons where communications security
is of utmost
importance and the personnel that are highly trained for it's
support are available.
Multi Role Radio
While the concept of a multi role
vehicular/manpack radio system is indeed an old one, it still
popularity today world wide. And too, while it is true that such
radios as the
BC-654, 620, 659, 1306, GRC-9, TBX and a host of others, were
adapted for use
in a vehicular mode. Their primary design intent and purpose in
life was as a
Field Portable/Man-Pack radio set and not a vehicular one. In the
case of the
TBX, though power supplies existed which allowed vehicular use, no
hardware for either the radio or it's ancillary equipment were
Vehicular installation instructions for this particular family of
amounted to templates by which plywood mounts could be cut.
The reverse is true of such radios as the
BC-1335, and RT-70 who's portability was secondary to their
primary mission as
a vehicular radio.
It is true that early equipment
specifically designed for use by various Special Forces groups are
document, however much information has been gathered on both the
latest sets to see their use, with only an interim gap between the
GRC-109/RS-1, RS-6, GRC-9, and the WW-II PRC-5.
The first and second radios to be
for use by any US Elite Force were the PRC-1, and PRC-5. Both
Case type radios, the PRC-1 arrived early in WW-II and is
responsible for being
the backbone of both tactical, and clandestine communication in
the China Burma
theater, not only by groups such as "Galahad, and "Merill's
Marauders", but also the OSS Special Operations Group 101. Not the
which has received the credit for this activity. The PRC-5 arrived
mid-war, and while it's exploits are not documented at all,
exist to place it too in the China/Burma Theater.
The BC-611(SCR-536) was also originally
designed expressly for use by Airborne troops. But as we know, it
used by virtually every service, and every Allied country, in
every theater of
The third known radio to have been
expressely for Special(Elite) Forces was the BC-1306(SCR-694C).
originally designed for use by Airborne and Mountain troops, it
pressed into service with all branches of service due to the major
shortcommings of the BC-654(SCR-284). The SCR-284 shortcomming
were indeed so
great, that simi-experimental versions of the SCR-694 were placed
service, the BC-1136(SCR-694AW).
At the same time SCR-694 became
so too did the TRC-2. Originally intended for service with
Intelligence, this was a combination of the a standard BC-1306
with it's lower
frequency twin, the RT-12/TRC-2.
Next came the already described TRC-7
intended for use by Airborne troops, followed closely my the
TRC-10. The later
was a re-packaged version of the PRC-1 which allowed for a far
operational package. At a glance, it was similar in appearance to
but boasted a much wider frequency coverage, and CW only
operation. This radio
today remains one of the rarest, and most difficult to document of
Somewhere in this mess came the PRC-4,
about this radio we know nothing excepting that it was a discized
the SCR-536/BC-611, also intended for use by Military
The Army was not the only military
organization to employ specialized radio equipment for it's Elite
Navy too had such equipment even in the early days. However due to
secrecy vail that shrouded all Naval equipment, documentation of
these types is
the most difficult of all. Only two radios are known to have seen
these type forces. The first was the common TBX who's exploits are
beginning to surface. The second, also of WW-II vintage was the
MBM. A suitcase-like
radio set design for use by forward raiding parties. It should be
the Navy maintained clandestine operations in all Pacific theaters
rivaled by no other organization foreign or domestic. And lest we
vulnerable MAB, or as it is called in it's own manual "the
Para-Talkie", being pictured in used by a Para-Marine(though it is
whether the radio saw any use with this short lived branch of the
Post-War years saw the Army Special
using the CIA's RS-1, and the GRC-9. It was not until late 1962
that the RS-1
would be officially adopted as the GRC-109 and a regular Army
item. And then only because of the transfer of operational control
of the Army
Special Forces from CIA hands back to regular Army. Contrary to
the GRC-109"A" model was not an adaptation for code burst
It was in fact the same radio supplied with a different "Armor"
cabinet that was more than twice as thick as the previous model,
with a corresponding
increase in weight. By the time of the demise of the RS-1/GRC-109
nearly all been either supplied from the factory with code burst
or this feature was added by way of an MWO.
Following closely the adoption of the
GRC-109 came the PRC-64 in 1965. Again a radio of CIA origin via
5300. While the widespread use of the PRC-64 in US hands may or
may not have
been short lived, and is open for debate, it did enjoy extreme
the hands of one of our few Vietnam Conflict Allies, the
Australians and their
Special Operations Group. With the introduction of the "A" model
enhanced code burst operation, it would appear that all or most
models where modified to comply to the newer radio's specs in the
respect as it's predecessors the RS-1, and GRC-109.
But before this, with it's beginnings in
question(approx early 60's/late 50's) came the simi-experimental
Receiving it's TRC designation via WW-II tradition, it too was
intend for use by Military Intelligence, and Special Forces.
However by this
time, it's intended US constituency had become highly
disillusioned with any
high tech/new fangled contraptions. It was then relegated to use
Vietnamese commandos who were extremely active against North
have also recently learned, via this group, of possible Australian
The PRC-62, while for some years it was
question whether this radio actually existed, and the few
to it were simple type errors or just wishful thinking. Recent
via this forum and our Aussie members have proven not only the
this radio, but also it's use by both the US and Australian
The author makes mention of the PRC-52,
PRC-42. Both of these are new ones to me, and I'm most interested
to learn more
about them. In the mid 60's to early 70's, a long list of SSB
acquired for testing in South East Asia(over 200). Tracing them
down has been close
to impossible. Every day somebody comes up with another possible
Suffice to say that their were many radios acquired and used by
service. Some to the extent they received almost Standard type
familiar names include AVCO, Huges, Southcom, Halicrafters,
Motorola, Collins any others.
It should be noted that the use of HF
communications equipment by Special Forces tactical units was
primarily NOT to
provide "very long distance communications", as the layman might
understand it. While radios of this type were capable of long
communications when in competent hands, the primary mission of an
in the hands of any front line tactical unit was to provide
ranges not possible with VHF FM equipment of the same type. I/E
1-5 miles for
VHF/FM types, 5-10 miles for the HF types. These distances
those that the unit in question might be separated from either
it's next higher
echelon, or companion units. Typical extremely long rang
this type equipment in Vietnam were on the order of 20 miles max.
Unfortunately, the author at the time of
his writing the first three parts article, was not privy to this
group or it's
archives. The story of these "Off the Shelf PRC's" was told
in an in depth multi
part series by that title, again via this forum, and is still
our back issues. There are also numerous other articles related to
in this series available from our archives.
MILITARY RADIO COLLECTOR/HISTORIAN
I wonder if you or one of the group could
identify this beast for me.
says SSB ADAPTATOR TYPE SBC, Number 8070.0082
68019 ACEC COQUELET SYSTEMS
The unit is roughly the same size as the
28vdc PSU for the PRC9/10's
and uses the same
style of fasteners.
I am puzzled as to what equipment it
originally connected too and what
it was used for.
Are circuits available?
Ian O'Toole VK2ZIO
GE Model 250
Does anybody know
anything about the following portable BC radio?
It's a "G.E.
Radio 250" model.
It runs from
either AC or an internal 2V wet cell (looks like a small
battery). There is a 2V vibrator in there (!). The ON-OFF
switch has a
The entire case
*and chassis* is made of die-castings (no sheet metal). It's a
dark green color, and the lid opens lunch-box-style.
The antenna is
built into the handle or lid.
The tag on the
inside mentions patents by Hazeltine Research.
Tubes are 1LN5,
1LC6, 1LH4, 1LN5, and 3Q5 (four Loktals and one octal).
The 1LH4 has a
1949 date code. On the seam where the rear lid opens, there is
wire braid - it
looks like it's designed to be "RF tight". Also, the rear lid has
so that it is possible to align the tuning cap sections
while the lid is
The battery has
those little colored float-balls built into it, so that you can
the charge state just by looking at it. When I said that
it's a "portable BC radio", I meant that it's
band, 540-1600 KC. It's your basic
AM portable table radio, but with some weird
Thanks for any
MORE WEB SITES;
From Sean T. Kelly
The Mil List, by
web site http://www.mnsinc.com/bry/hamlynx/hamboata.htm
If any of these
links 404, it's probably because I did a typo error, let
me know and I'll
fix it. (sorry for the format Dennis,
it's my retarded
quite in fond of, actually).
Kelly email is
AVAIL. SWAP FOR OTHER A/C SHIT;
conditon. Will trade for
any of the following
"ARC-5"-type control heads
or shock mounts:
Any control head
for ATA, ARA other then 3-receiver.
Any shock mount
for ATA or ARA.
Anything at all
for RAT or RAV.
C-24, C-25, C-26, C-27, C-29, C-39, J-17, J-28, J-34.
Will also trade
for interesting ARC-type-12 control heads
boxes. Especially interested in those
transmitters. Priority for C-14 which
runs the early
R-13 (black wrinkle paint) and the C-15 which
controls the ARC-type-17 set
73 DE Dave
NEW MEMBER; Buzz
Thank you for the
invitation to your military equipment
I agree to your terms and conditions and would
like to join your
list. My interest are restoration of military
thru Nam) and the electronics that were
them. I also have
repaired several radios for members of or local
MV group. I got
my electronics training in the Navy in the early
sixties then flew
as a radio operator in patrol bombers (P2V). I
became a ham in
1965 and joined Army MARS in 1967. I retired
from the phone
company in 1991 and have been enjoying my hobbies
Thanks for the
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy,
how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied,
"I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he
marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never
knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it
was too late."
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I
who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he
before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire."
"The trouble with being the best man at a
wedding is that you never get to prove it."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over
If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over
when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and
so does she.
During a heated spat over finances the husband
said, "Well, if you'd learn to cook and were willing to clean
this place, we could fire the maid." The wife, fuming, shot
back, "Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we
could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."
Personally, I think one of the greatest things
about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say
anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays
the least bit of attention.
According to the latest surveys, when making
love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way
to get your laundry done free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
"You're lucky, mine's still alive."
There's this little West Virginia family,
Maw, Paw, Junior, and Sally. One day Junior asks, "Paw, whut's
sex?" Paw sits back, thinks about it, and replies,
"Well, Junior, I
yore 'bout ol'nuff to find out.
Maw, take off all yer clothes, jump up on the bed, and spread'n'em
legs." After Maw is undressed and lying on the
bed, Paw looks at Junior and says,
"You see that there hole on Maw?
Well, jist watch ol' Paw."
Paw jumps on top of Maw and starts doing her every
which way. About this time, Sally walks in, walks over
to Junior and whispers, "Jun...Junior, wh-whut's that?" Junior,
being a man of the world now, looks
back at Sally and
"That's whatcha call 'sex'.
You see that there hole on Paw?
What happens when you cross a pig with a
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
What's the definition of "a shame"
(as in, "that's a shame")?
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
What is the definition of a "crying
When it's only half full.
How many corporate attorneys does it take to
change a light bulb?
Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the
How many defense attorneys does it take to
change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Why does California have the most lawyers, and
New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got first pick.
What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?
What is the difference between a lawyer and a
You take off your shoes to jump on a
In front of you stand four men: Adolf Hitler,
Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and a lawyer. You are holding a gun which
only three bullets. Who do you
shoot? Use all three bullets on the lawyer.
What is the difference between a tick and a
lawyer? The tick stops draining you and drops off
after you're dead.
Why won't vultures eat dead lawyers? There are some things that
would gag even a
MURPHY'S LAW OF COMPUTING
1.When computing, whatever happens, behave as
though you meant it to happen.
2.When you get to the point where you really
understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
3.The first place to look for information is
in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
4.When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5.For every action, there is an equal and
6.To err is human...to blame your computer for
your mistakes is even more than human, it's downright natural.
7.He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
8.If at first you don't succeed, blame your
9.A complex system that does not work is
invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked
number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely
what you want to do.
"'Tis better to be thought a fool than to
open your mouth and remove all doubt."
A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and
orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can
for it. The guy says, "You're right. I don't have
any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before,
give me a drink?" The bartender says, "Only if what you
show me ain't risque." "Deal!" says the guy and reaches
into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster
on the bar and it
runs to the end of the bar, climbs down the bar, runs across the
room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing
And the hamster is really good. The bartender says, "You're
never seen anything like that
before. That hamster is truly good on the
piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for
another. "Money or another miracle, or else no
drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again
and pulls out a
frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He
marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from
other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for
the frog. The guy says, "It's a deal." He
takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The
stranger runs out of
the bar. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut?
You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth
millions. You must be
"Not so", says the guy. "The
hamster is also a ventriloquist."
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many
barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The
Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a
shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney?
Here's a guinea;
go and bury 20 more of
A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a
drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a
reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.
nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge
called a recess
and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for
duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them
they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel
experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The
over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendent
guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started
getting ready to
go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge
was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the
jury-room to see
what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the
said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his
and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches
the foreman's position!"
(The preceding was
a product of the"Military Collector Group Post", an international
email magazine dedicated to the preservation of history and the
made it. Unlimited circulation of this material is authorized so
long as the
proper credits to the original authors, and publisher or this
included. For more information conserning this group contact
Dennis Starks at,