Conclusion By Dennis Starks
     SBC Sideband Adapter?
     GE Model 250 Radio?
MORE WEB SITES; From Sean T. Kelly


     Conclusion By Dennis Starks


      I realize that the author's intent in the first parts of this series was to give a casual account of the development of selected portable radios beginning in WW-II and progressing to the present. However things being as they are, and me being the ass hole I am, I just couldn't leave it at that. I felt that several things should be covered in more detail, and a couple half-truths dispelled. It is my sincere hope that further, more detail discussion may be the result of publishing this material. Comments from everybody, regardless of content are most emphatically sought.

In The Beginning,

     The SCR-511 was not developed before the SCR-536, in fact, the SCR-536 was undergoing field trials before the SCR-511. As has been covered in great detail via this forum, the two radios were designed with two completely different intended purposes, it was fate that joined them as companions in the field. And the Navy had fielded the MU(early MAB) before the advent of either.

     Surely, it can be shown that the Navy has traditionally been far in advance of Army development all throughout radio communications history. Some examples, the Navy had in hand by 1939 the ART-13(ATC), TCS, TBY, TBX, TBW, MU and the famous  Command Sets to name just a few. All far and away more advanced than their Signal Corps counterparts BC-375, BC-223, BC-222, BC-654, BC-191, BC-611, BC-229/230. It would not be until near wars end that the Signal Corps would catch up to the Navy and in some cases adopt Naval equipment. Similar examples can be shown to the present day. Perhaps a future series of articles entitled "Army Versus Navy" might be in order.

      These facts however have been neglected in history, and overshadowed by Army variants for several reasons. First is the secretive nature of the Navy which prevented the commercial propagandizing enjoyed by the Army and it's equipment. Second is shear numbers, while the Marine Corps had by mid WW-II a large selection of excellent equipment to choose from, their operational proximity to Army units by this time, combined by with the greater numbers of Army units and a difference in operational doctrines mandated that they(the Marine Corps) adopt and use those items of  Signal Corps equipment most often needed to both enhance compatibility, and simplify the horrendous logistics problems associated with the support of such contingents in the field. Third was the support by manufactures at home. Manufacturing facilities at home were stretched to near limits. Every item needed to support the war effort had to compete for these facilities. The extent of this competition is very difficult to convey, but suffice to say it created extreme tension between ALL the services.

     It should also be noted that Army Signal Corps, and Air force development were one in the same thing until the split of the Air force with the Army well after WW-II. Until then the only development or procurement effected by the "Army Air Corps" on it's own and without Signal Corps consent or collaboration was met with later disaster. A case in point was the Air Corps Jefferson Travis field radio sets that were ordered out of defiance without Signal Corps consent. The Jefferson Travis was much like a larger, more powerful SCR-284(BC-654). Later during the North African Campaign, the Air Corps complained to the Signal Corps about the extreme weight of the radio set, and their difficulties in obtaining support and maintenance items. The Signal Corps replied in effect, this isn't one of our radio's, we did not order, nor approve them, therefore the logistic support channels do no exist in our system, I/E you shit your own nest now lay in it! The Jefferson Travis was then replaced in the field with Signal Corps types which had been designed for that same purpose rather than further clog up the logistic channels trying to support it. The same story can be re-told with several other examples.

FAC Radios,

     The Air force lead in the development and use of an FAC radios can be debated in depth. Considering the WW-II developmental practices outlined above, the first true FAC radio was the TRC-7 of mid WW-II vintage, developed for Military intelligence, and Airborne troops(not the Air Corps) as both a liaison radio for air support, and later as a means of fighter control for extreme forward area ground troops. It was indeed a backpack radio operating from the same battery as a BC-1000, and provided with a very large array of accessaries that allowed it's use as a simi-fixed station, even a hand crank generator was available. There is also evidence to show that the CRC-7 (the first hand -held VHF AM downed airman's radio) had been used as an expedient by Airborne troops even before the advent of the TRC-7(more on the CRC-7 later).

     The mid-late 50's saw a re-emergence of the TRC-7 in the hands of the Air force. This as a result of the realization that our move to UHF AM for tactical air communications had left the rest of the world behind, thus American FAC teams had no means of communications with allied aircraft. This condition persisted until the end of US involvement in Vietnam, and a steady succession of radios were either developed or purchased Off-The-Shelf and used as expedients to relieve some of the problem.

     Long before the Army/Air force's fumbling along with the TRC-7, and PRC-14(late 50's). The Navy had realized a need and solved it by late WW-II. This with the MAY(UHF AM) and the MAW(VHF AM), both these radios were basically backpack types that could also be set for simi-fixed operation with an elevated antenna. Though grossly obsolete they would still be in the hands of Marine FAC/Pathfinder units until the late 60's. In the same light, the development of the PRC-41, and PRC-47 can be more closely credited to the Marine Corps who was by far the largest purchaser, rather than the Army or Air force.

      It should be noted that FAC operations have the peculiar need to be able to operate on all bands, I/E HF/AM(later SSB), VHF/FM, VHF/AM, and UHF/AM. This led to the Air force's development of the PRC-71, 72, 83 etc. None were built in very significant quantity. The Army, and Navy on the other hand chose to stick with an assemblage of the more common tactical sets PRC-25/77, 74, 47(Marines), and 41. In addition, history will show that virtually all the common radios originally developed as Downed Airman's, or survival radios, also saw secondary duty in use as a front line means of fighter control often in the hands of  Special Forces Teams, and other Irregular Forces. These include the URC-4, 11, 10, 10A, PRC-63, 90, ACR-RT-10 and a long list of others.

     It is true that very little is known of the Pre-SSB days of the front line foot FAC units. We do know that the GRC-9 was used in this capacity while vehicular, and was most probably desmounted for close-in use. The possiblity also exist that the GRC-13 might have been used in this same role, and if so, might account for it's extreme rarity today. While the Marine Corps did have access to GRC-9's their TBX series remained in service at least until the end of the Korean War, and evendence exist that place it in use even later. It is very doughtfull that either the GRC-109, or the PRC-64 ever saw service in use by FAC units. This because the primary mode for both of these radio sets was CW, and voice communications were needed for spontaneous aircraft tactical coordination. Also the history of the GRC-109/RS-1 in military hands has been well documented via this forum and precludes any such usage.

     Another contributing factor in the development of FAC equipment is that Air force FAC units, unlike Army FAC's and Marine Pathfinders seldom advanced into the extreme forward areas that would require the use of backpack equipment. Thus most of the equipment used by them were vehicular in nature. Beginning in WW-II a tradition of retro-fitting aircraft radio equipment into ground vehicles started with the SCR-522 being installed in tanks as the SCR-524. This practice mushroomed after WW-II with 24vdc(compatible with 28vdc aircraft) becoming our military's standard vehicle voltage, and still lives on today, the variations of equipment used would fill several volumes, and include HF, VHF, and UHF examples of every type and vintage.


     It is true that there was a long drawn out research effort that resulted in the Marine Corps PRC-68. But this was preceded by an even longer effort to develop the PRT-4/PRR-9,  beginning in 1950 and ending in 1964. This effort produced the experimental PRC-15, 30, 34, 35, & 36. While it is true the  PRT-4/PRR-9 saw little actual service in the field, it remained the only official squad radio of record until at least 1977, when only experimental versions of the PRC-68 were yet available.

     The PRT-4/PRR-9 combination remains extremely significant to history for several reasons. First and foremost was the technology they represented including the first in an all solid state radio set, and second the use of a 10.7mc IF frequency which is now standard, and lastly the first use of an Integrated circuit(IC), this is the 150cps tone generator on "A" models. The story told in the development of these radios is an un-equaled example of Government Bull Shit, and non-cooperation.

     The PRC-68 was the direct result of the adoption of the PRT-4/PRR-9 and  not because of any obvious reasoning. But out of the disgust felt by the Marine Corps having been totally ignored during the entire developmental process even though this was a joint services project. Their grievance was not with the basic design of the radio set, or it's performance, rather it was the dual radio packaging and limited channel capacity. I/E the Marine Corps had all along pressed for a channel capacity of at least four, and a radio housed in a single cabinet. Had their wishes been headed during the Development of the PRT-4/PRR-9, we might not ever have received the PRC-68's, or at least not until a much later date.

     In the interum years between the PRT-4/PRR-9 and the PRC-68, another long list of radios were developed, and or purchased as emergency expediants in very limited quantities. Some of the later include some international joint development units such as the PRC-601, and 602 a joint Isreali/US, Tadiran/GTE venture. At least four solid state versions of the PRC-6 are also known to have been purchased by the US government, two types of German origin, and two of US.

Downed Airman's/Survival Radios(SAR),

     While their was a succession of survival type radios used before during and after WW-II, the first such radio adopted as a Standard Item was the legendary Gibson Girl of WW-II fame. A direct copy of a German set that had been captured in the North Sea by the British, then remanded by them to the US for development and production. It remained in service aboard large aircraft and all sea going vessels with very little change until the late 80's and the demise of the 500kc marine distress band, combined with the negating of Mores Code proficiency of licensed marine radio operators..

     Second to emerge was the CRC-7. While it is true that the radio was used in life raft during the war. It's greatest claim to fame was it's use aboard fighter aircraft where the available space for such equipment was at a premium (the CRC-7 was a transceiver shaped like a large cigar tube, approx 2" in diameter, & 14" long). In postwar years it would receive expanded use in light bombers, and with commercial airlines.

     The Army/Air force/URC-4 use combined with the Navy/PRC-17 use can be debated to some extent as numerous examples of the URC-4 survive to show Navy use. In addition, most surviving examples of the PRC-17 show use by commercial airlines. Further, the URC-11/Army/Air force, and PRC-32/Navy associations can also be debated. It would appear that the Naval purchase of the PRC-32 was a simple expedient to augment supplies of their URC-11's at a time when technology was awaiting the advent of an all solid state radio. I/E, a limbo period existed between the URC-11(all tubes) and the first solid state SAR radio. During this period a long list of Make-Do radios were purchased, tested, or used. Some of these were even commercial Off-the-Shelf types including many ACR built variants. It should be noted that all these early SAR radios(except the CRC-7), even the first and second generation ACR types, used and external, metal incased, battery that was connected to the radio via an umbilical cable, making for a very cumbersome arrangement.

     The first solid state SAR radio was not the ACR-RT-10, or the URC-10(both being the same radio). The first model RT-10 was in fact a tube type radio and used a separate battery just as previous designs. The second version "A" model, though physically identical to it's older brother was indeed all solid state. It was adopted by all US services with various markings including ACR-RT-10A, URC-10A, and PRC-93. Apparently due to it's high production cost it did not fair well in military service.

     The Army's URC-68 was never intended as a one size fits all SAR radio. It was expressly intended for use by helicopter flight crews and with their close operational proximity to ground troops, the lowband VHF/FM band was included. At one time it was briefly considered by the Army Rangers as a "Stop Gap" radio to fill the void they felt for lack of a suitable squad radio. It was however quickly dismissed as too fragile for this type use.

     The Navy PRC-63, though it did enjoy some popularity and use, was a hermetically sealed Throw-Away radio. Built completely from synthetics it was very light weight, compact, and possibly for the first time in large scale, used a "Rubber Duckie" type antenna. But it's synthetic materials rendered it fragile, and it's being permanently seal prevented any attempt at servicing. It gave way in short order to the PRC-90.

     The Navy's improved PRC-90-2. The only difference between the PRC-90's used by the Navy/Marine Corps, and those in use by the Army/Air Force was in the process used to manufacture their cabinets. Both radio variants were built in the same factories at the same time, on the same production lines. the deference is in the type aluminum used in the cabinets on each variant. Those used by the Army/Air Force have an aluminum cabinet that began life as an investment casting. On the other hand, Navy/Marine Corps cabinets are completely milled from a solid block of aluminum. the end result of the Navy/Marine manufacturing process was a radio that would survive being submerged in water to a greater depth.

     Even by the late 50's-early 60's, the military had not completely weaned itself from some dependance on the VHF(Civil) aircraft band. The URC-14 is identical in every respect to a URC-11 except for one, it operates on 121.5 vice 243mc. This can be seen again with the current PRC-106, a radio which is physically identical to the PRC-90, except that this one is dual band and operates on both 121.5, and 243mc. Has anyone ever noticed the harmonic relationship between all the aircraft Guard frequencies? We have 40.5mc FM used in helicopters, times three equals 121.5 for the civil aircraft band, time two equals 243mc military guard. Coincidence?

Back-Pack Radios,

     The BC-222/322(SCR-194/195) along with the TBY were indeed Backpack radios, and as such designed to be operable while in motion on the operator's back(though admittedly a very precarious operation for these particular radios). Followed by the SCR-300(BC-1000) which would set the stage for ALL front line tactical radios to follow, even to this day.

     The PRC-8, 9, 10, not only offered much greater frequency coverage with less signal bandwidth, and a smaller size and weight. But also introduced the first examples of modular design into a military radio. This greatly simplifying field service and logistics, and provided some measure if interchangeability between radio parts and accessories. The Canadians, Dutch, and Australians would ingeniously expand on this system in their same generation of equipment to include their Squad Radio, the CPRC-26. Which used common components, and accessories with not only their own versions of the PRC-8, 9, & 10, but also US radios. The US would not follow their own lead with our PRC-6 which included none of this interchangeability. Another "First" for the PRC-10 family of radios, and possibly most significant, was their Steel Tape antenna that would become an international standard to this day.

     The PRC-25 is the single most significant contribution to military tactical communication of it's type since the advent of the SCR-300(BC-1000). It and it's immediate successor the PRC-77 would become the most proliferate radio in military history spanning almost 30 years, 40 countries, and countless manufactures foreign and domestic. It would remain the standard for comparison long after it's obsolescence, and still remains in widespread use today. Besides being the first solid state FM backpack radio, it also introduced the now standard 150cps tone squelch system which effectively "Grunt Proofed" it not only simplifying operation by untrained personnel but also reducing front panel controls to a minimum.

     The PRC-119 is by ALL accounts, especially those taxed with it's operation, a horribly over complicated, and temperamental radio set. I personally cannot perceive it's longevity as a replacement for the PRC-77 excepted in higher echelons where communications security is of utmost importance and the personnel that are highly trained for it's operation, and support are available.

Multi Role Radio Equipment,

     While the concept of a multi role vehicular/manpack radio system is indeed an old one, it still enjoys great popularity today world wide. And too, while it is true that such radios as the BC-654, 620, 659, 1306, GRC-9, TBX and a host of others, were adapted for use in a vehicular mode. Their primary design intent and purpose in life was as a Field Portable/Man-Pack radio set and not a vehicular one. In the case of the TBX, though power supplies existed which allowed vehicular use, no mounting hardware for either the radio or it's ancillary equipment were ever produced. Vehicular installation instructions for this particular family of radios amounted to templates by which plywood mounts could be cut.

     The reverse is true of such radios as the BC-1335, and RT-70 who's portability was secondary to their primary mission as a vehicular radio.

Special Forces Portables,

     It is true that early equipment specifically designed for use by various Special Forces groups are hard to document, however much information has been gathered on both the earliest and latest sets to see their use, with only an interim gap between the GRC-109/RS-1, RS-6, GRC-9, and the WW-II PRC-5.

     The first and second radios to be developed for use by any US Elite Force were the PRC-1, and PRC-5. Both Classic Suite Case type radios, the PRC-1 arrived early in WW-II and is responsible for being the backbone of both tactical, and clandestine communication in the China Burma theater, not only by groups such as "Galahad, and "Merill's Marauders", but also the OSS Special Operations Group 101. Not the SSTR-1 which has received the credit for this activity. The PRC-5 arrived about mid-war, and while it's exploits are not documented at all, evidenced does exist to place it too in the China/Burma Theater.

     The BC-611(SCR-536) was also originally designed expressly for use by Airborne troops. But as we know, it was later used by virtually every service, and every Allied country, in every theater of WW-II..

     The third known radio to have been designed expressely for Special(Elite) Forces was the BC-1306(SCR-694C). Being originally designed for use by Airborne and Mountain troops, it was later pressed into service with all branches of service due to the major shortcommings of the BC-654(SCR-284). The SCR-284 shortcomming were indeed so great, that simi-experimental versions of the SCR-694 were placed into early service, the BC-1136(SCR-694AW).

     At the same time SCR-694 became available, so too did the TRC-2. Originally intended for service with Military Intelligence, this was a combination of the a standard BC-1306 with it's lower frequency twin, the RT-12/TRC-2.

     Next came the already described TRC-7 also intended for use by Airborne troops, followed closely my the TRC-10. The later was a re-packaged version of the PRC-1 which allowed for a far more versatile operational package. At a glance, it was similar in appearance to the SCR-284 but boasted a much wider frequency coverage, and CW only operation. This radio today remains one of the rarest, and most difficult to document of all military radios.

     Somewhere in this mess came the PRC-4, about this radio we know nothing excepting that it was a discized version of the SCR-536/BC-611, also intended for use by Military Intelligence.

     The Army was not the only military organization to employ specialized radio equipment for it's Elite forces, the Navy too had such equipment even in the early days. However due to the typical secrecy vail that shrouded all Naval equipment, documentation of these types is the most difficult of all. Only two radios are known to have seen service with these type forces. The first was the common TBX who's exploits are only now beginning to surface. The second, also of WW-II vintage was the MBM. A suitcase-like radio set design for use by forward raiding parties. It should be noted that the Navy maintained clandestine operations in all Pacific theaters that were rivaled by no other organization foreign or domestic. And lest we forget the vulnerable MAB, or as it is called in it's own manual "the Para-Talkie", being pictured in used by a Para-Marine(though it is unkown whether the radio saw any use with this short lived branch of the Marine Corps).

     Post-War years saw the Army Special Forces using the CIA's RS-1, and the GRC-9. It was not until late 1962 that the RS-1 would be officially adopted as the GRC-109 and a regular Army Standard Issue item. And then only because of the transfer of operational control of the Army Special Forces from CIA hands back to regular Army. Contrary to popular belief, the GRC-109"A" model was not an adaptation for code burst operation. It was in fact the same radio supplied with a different "Armor" cabinet that was more than twice as thick as the previous model, with a corresponding increase in weight. By the time of the demise of the RS-1/GRC-109 they had nearly all been either supplied from the factory with code burst capabilities, or this feature was added by way of an MWO.

     Following closely the adoption of the GRC-109 came the PRC-64 in 1965. Again a radio of CIA origin via the Delco 5300. While the widespread use of the PRC-64 in US hands may or may not have been short lived, and is open for debate, it did enjoy extreme popularity in the hands of one of our few Vietnam Conflict Allies, the Australians and their Special Operations Group. With the introduction of the "A" model with enhanced code burst operation, it would appear that all or most previous, models where modified to comply to the newer radio's specs in the same is respect as it's predecessors the RS-1, and GRC-109.

     But before this, with it's beginnings in question(approx early 60's/late 50's) came the simi-experimental TRC-77. Receiving it's TRC designation via WW-II tradition, it too was originally intend for use by Military Intelligence, and Special Forces. However by this time, it's intended US constituency had become highly disillusioned with any high tech/new fangled contraptions. It was then relegated to use by South Vietnamese commandos who were extremely active against North Vietnamese coastal

installations. We have also recently learned, via this group, of possible Australian use.

     The PRC-62, while for some years it was in question whether this radio actually existed, and the few surviving references to it were simple type errors or just wishful thinking. Recent events, again via this forum and our Aussie members have proven not only the existence of this radio, but also it's use by both the US and Australian militaries.

     The author makes mention of the PRC-52, and PRC-42. Both of these are new ones to me, and I'm most interested to learn more about them. In the mid 60's to early 70's, a long list of SSB radios were acquired for testing in South East Asia(over 200). Tracing them down has been close to impossible. Every day somebody comes up with another possible candidate. Suffice to say that their were many radios acquired and used by every involved service. Some to the extent they received almost Standard type acceptance. Some familiar names include AVCO, Huges, Southcom, Halicrafters, Harris(RF), Motorola, Collins any others.

     It should be noted that the use of HF communications equipment by Special Forces tactical units was primarily NOT to provide "very long distance communications", as the layman might understand it. While radios of this type were capable of long range communications when in competent hands, the primary mission of an HF portable in the hands of any front line tactical unit was to provide communications at ranges not possible with VHF FM equipment of the same type. I/E 1-5 miles for VHF/FM types, 5-10 miles for the HF types. These distances generally represent those that the unit in question might be separated from either it's next higher echelon, or companion units. Typical extremely long rang communications with this type equipment in Vietnam were on the order of 20 miles max.


     Unfortunately, the author at the time of his writing the first three parts article, was not privy to this group or it's archives. The story of these "Off the Shelf  PRC's" was told in an in depth multi part series by that title, again via this forum, and is still available from our back issues. There are also numerous other articles related to the topics in this series available from our archives.




SBC Sideband Adapter,

Hi Dennis,

     I wonder if you or one of the group could identify this beast for me.
The nameplate says SSB ADAPTATOR TYPE SBC, Number 8070.0082 Serial Number 68019  ACEC  COQUELET SYSTEMS
     The unit is roughly the same size as the 28vdc PSU for the PRC9/10's and uses the same style of fasteners.
     I am puzzled as to what equipment it originally connected too and what it was used for.

     Are circuits available?

     Ian O'Toole VK2ZIO

                                                        Many Thanks



GE Model 250 Radio,

Hi gang,

Does anybody know anything about the following portable BC radio?

It's a "G.E. Radio 250" model. It runs from either AC or an internal 2V wet cell (looks like a small motorcycle battery). There is a 2V vibrator in there (!). The ON-OFF
switch has a "charge" position. The entire case *and chassis* is made of die-castings (no sheet metal). It's a dark green color, and the lid opens lunch-box-style. The antenna is built into the handle or lid. The tag on the inside mentions patents by Hazeltine Research. Tubes are 1LN5, 1LC6, 1LH4, 1LN5, and 3Q5 (four Loktals and one octal). The 1LH4 has a 1949 date code. On the seam where the rear lid opens, there is wire braid - it looks like it's designed to be "RF tight". Also, the rear lid has three metal cap-plugs, so that it is possible to align the tuning cap sections while the lid is closed. The battery has those little colored float-balls built into it, so that you can tell the charge state just by looking at it. When I said that it's a "portable BC radio", I meant that it's AM broadcast band, 540-1600 KC. It's your basic AM portable table radio, but with some weird industrial-strength features.
Thanks for any info!


Colo. Springs


MORE WEB SITES; From Sean T. Kelly

Richard Lacroix

Dave's Home Pages

The Mil List, by Tom N.


Brian Carling's web site

Surplus Radio Society

BA's onthePorch

If any of these links 404, it's probably because I did a typo error, let

me know and I'll fix it.  (sorry for the format Dennis, it's my retarded

PC/XT...which I'm quite in fond of, actually).

Sean T. Kelly     email is



For Trade:

Collins ARC-27 control head. Good complete conditon. Will trade for any of the following "ARC-5"-type control heads or shock mounts:
Any control head for ATA, ARA other then 3-receiver.
Any shock mount for ATA or ARA.
Anything at all for RAT or RAV.
AN/ARC-5 types C-24, C-25, C-26, C-27, C-29, C-39, J-17, J-28, J-34.
Will also trade for interesting ARC-type-12 control heads and junction boxes.  Especially interested in those which control transmitters.  Priority for C-14 which runs the early R-13 (black wrinkle paint) and the C-15 which controls the ARC-type-17 set (painted grey).

73 DE Dave Stinson AB5S




Thank you for the invitation to your military equipment collectors forum. I agree to your terms and conditions and would like to join your list. My interest are restoration of military vehicles (WWII thru Nam)  and the electronics that were used in them. I also have repaired several radios for members of or local MV group. I got my electronics training in the Navy in the early sixties then flew as a radio operator in patrol bombers (P2V). I became a ham in 1965  and joined Army MARS in 1967.  I retired from the phone company in 1991 and have been enjoying my hobbies ever since.

Thanks for the invitation.

Buzz KD7BZ




 Man is incomplete until he is married.  Then he is finished.


 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


 Young Son:  Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?  Dad: That happens in every country, son.


 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."


 A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.  The woman replied, "A billionaire."


 "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it."


 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


 If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.


 Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


 You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.


 During a heated spat over finances the husband said, "Well, if you'd learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid." The wife, fuming, shot back,  "Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."


 Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house.  Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.


 According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.


 My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.


 How do most men define marriage?  A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.


 The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.


 Words to live by:  Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.


 First guy (proudly):  "My wife's an angel!"  Second guy:  "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


There's this little West Virginia family, Maw, Paw, Junior, and Sally. One day Junior asks, "Paw, whut's sex?" Paw sits back, thinks about it, and replies, "Well, Junior, I  reckon  yore 'bout ol'nuff to find out.  Maw, take off all yer clothes, jump up on the bed, and spread'n'em legs." After Maw is undressed and lying on the bed, Paw looks at Junior and says,  "You see that there hole on Maw?  Well, jist watch ol' Paw."  Paw jumps on top of Maw and starts doing her every which way. About this time, Sally walks in, walks over to Junior and whispers, "Jun...Junior, wh-whut's that?" Junior, being a man of the world now, looks back at Sally and  grins,  "That's whatcha call 'sex'.  You see that there hole on Paw?  Jist watch  ol' Junior..."


What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?  Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?  Professional courtesy.

What's the definition of "a shame" (as in, "that's a shame")?  When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

What is the definition of a "crying shame"?  When it's only half full.

How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?  Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

How many defense attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?  How many can you afford?

Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? New Jersey got first pick.

What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?  Your honor.

What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?  Senator.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?  You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

In front of you stand four men: Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and a lawyer. You are holding a gun which contains only three bullets.  Who do you  shoot? Use all three bullets on the lawyer.

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick stops draining you and drops off after you're dead.

Why won't vultures eat dead lawyers? There are some things that would gag even a vulture.


 1.When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
 2.When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
 3.The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.
 4.When the going gets tough, upgrade.
 5.For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
 6.To err is blame your computer for your mistakes is even more than human, it's downright natural.
 7.He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
 8.If at first you don't succeed, blame your computer.
 9.A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
 10.  The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
 11.  A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

 "'Tis better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."


 Talented Hamster

 A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it. The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?" The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque."  "Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, climbs down the bar, runs across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.  The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that  before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle, or else no drink", says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy."  "Not so", says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."


 A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 more of  them."

A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendent was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?" The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"


(The preceding was a product of the"Military Collector Group Post", an international email magazine dedicated to the preservation of history and the equipment that made it. Unlimited circulation of this material is authorized so long as the proper credits to the original authors, and publisher or this group are included. For more information conserning this group contact Dennis Starks at,